My Parents are the Best!

Once I found some children casually talking to each other when they suddenly got into a debate and each said, "My Parents are the Best and best-est!"

Every child is proud of his parents and their whole world revolves round their family - the love and caring, nurturing relationship. We have many books on Parenting including mine, but alas, like most things in life, parenthood too comes with No How to do Instructions and statutory warming but an experience to balance and facing challenges to offer the role of parenting. Successful parenting comes from within, with an insight and inner values. There are no clear cut methods on good parenting but habits you can develop to ensure that you prioritize your method of upbringing the child with greater responsibility.

As parents, we fondly hope that our Children want to say these lovely words, "My Mom is the Best of My Daddy is the Best-est!" And here are steps to follow as Guardian of Angels to be the 'BEST' and feel on top of the world:

1. Be firm
Build a easy frame of life. Children don't like chaos. Be firm in your decisions and reactions. Let there be consistency in your attitude for their behavioral development.

2. Teach, Do not Preach
Most often, Parents lead to Preach rathar than teach. Even if you are not a great teacher, every parent feels a sense of gratitude while the kids learn and follow them. Learning builds in confidence and can be made fun. Sharing experiences, playing together and teaching in a normal way is a way to go than to preach and tell (or rather Nag!) the child to 'Do This' or 'Do That.'

3. Get Involved
With the tech savvy kids growing up, help them grow gracefully. Involve yourself in their academic growth, Activities, social developments and more. Be together on their Life journey as a guiding light and provide your wisdom. Even you need to learn to help them learn newer things. Your Interest as Parents in every step helps the child get motivated and encouraged. They build their self confidence as you feel good factor of your involvement.

4. Rejuvenation
Rejuvenate yourself and make the child's week ends fun. Recreation is must as 'All work and No Play' is no good idea. Children have their own friends and love to spend time with them - Watch a movie, listen to ipod, dance around or go for explorations. However, quality time with parents is must as they learn to value family life as much as they love to be with friends.

5. Clear Stress signals
Let not your stress fall on children. Parental issues are worst as children are anxious to what goes around them as they are fond of both the parent. Your relationship issues cause worry for them. Even stress at your workplace, money crisis, family issues and so on have an impact on your stressful behavior. As a result, Parent stress is a Kid's Stress. Children need to be free of mind of any kind of tension.

6. Be Religious
One need not force Religion to kids. However, rituals are good for faith. A child who lives with faith learns to love the world. Celebrating festivals like Christmas, Diwali is togetherness. Let there be cozy dinners together and saying 'Grace' at mealtimes. Or, Watch television show or a sports game - It's a family time to bond and feel close.

Be the BEST - Be the successful Parent and it often comes with an Understanding and a lot deal of Sacrifice too!

- ilaxi patel
Author of Guardian of Angels

Stage Fright?

Stage fright or performance anxiety is something that is very common among all of us and even children. Often, in school you may be asked to come up on stage and give a short speech or be a part in the debating team. But, if you find nervousness creeping in you, your hands would shake, voice falter and heart keeps pounding - chances are that you have a Stage Fright. Anyone who is participating in an activity that will bring them into close or direct contact with a small or large audience can experience stage fright. Often it happens, you are told to give a speech and words either roll out which goes out of topic sometimes or it's just you start fumbling for words. May be, you are not scared of the Stage but it's a speech faltering. Whatever, the stage performance weakens.

If you find yourself in such situation, never try and shun public performances altogether. This is a mistake. Stage fright is something that you need to overcome. But how? So, here we go:

1. Be positive : Meditate before you begin. Close your eyes and be positive. When you have a speech performance, begin with a quote. Or, when you have a stage performance, murmur to yourself a quote that builds your confidence or say to yourself, 'I can do it' and you will.

2. Don't be nervous : shrug off the blues and don't be nervous. Negative thoughts are not to pop up in your mind

3. Be prepared : Be well prepared before you go to stage. Memorize your words or focus on what you have to say.

4. Eye contact : Do not focus on a single eye contact. Let your vision be focused on the audience in whole without allowing your eyes to wander.

5. Focus on the character : When you are on stage performance, focus on the character you have to play and not yourself.

6. Concentrate : Do not allow your memory to lapse. Concentrate. If you let your mind wander, your dialogues will start fading.

7. Don't Listen to audience : While performance, don't listen to the comments of audience - bouquets or brickbats. If your performance is found good, audience is apt to be emotional and their emotions might distract you to make mistakes. So, stay focused.

8. Be your usual self : Don't do anything unusual when you have to go for stage performance. Do not break your routine schedule. Don't skip meals nor sleep less. This may only disturb your health.

Stage fear Anxiety need to be let off. I felt the Stage anxiety when I did have to stand up to an audience to give self introduction which is quite lengthy professional data and made me confused as to what to say. It made me real confused and falter. Hence, first priority should always be 'get well prepared.' and avoid spontaneous speech. Moreover, Be your best, dress your best, do your best and perform the best.

- ilaxi

Guardian of Angels Blog Widget & Pocket money for kids link

How much pocket money did you get as a child? And how much pocket money would you give to your child now?Think over! You need to Change with the Change, isn't it? However, like I mentioned in one of my articles in my Book 'Guardian of Angels', Morris Mandel from Jewish Press says, "Four Magic words : We can't afford it", should be a part of every child's education. A child who has never heard these words, or also has never been forced to abide by their meaning, has surely been cheated by his parents. As exercise strengthens the body, frugality strengthens the spirit. Without its occasional discipline, character suffers."

What every parent need to do is, 'Draw a line on How much pocket money to give to children' and the second thing to teach children is, 'How to manage money.' Those parents who fail to do so, often face stress and ultimately, kids also fall in the category as their demands keep rising and following a herd mentality is quite common we see in a tech age. Thus, it's Parent stress-Kids stress!

You can find more on this on my main Ed note on kidsfreesouls blog.

Btw, now you can add Guardian of Angels Blog widget and also other widgets from here and place on your blog, website or social networking places. Enjoy.

- ilaxi patel

Author of Guardian of Angels

Know your child's friends & Teacher's welcoming note

Schools have now become a routine when fun goes amiss. Some children are still stressful and so are the parents. It's time to make your child independent and organized. Change in bedtime routines and a healthy breakfast in the morning. Apart from all, One thing really important for a child is Making connections. Children do make friends on their own but yet, a parental guiding help can add to his positive friendship.

Even teachers need to get an insight to know the child, about their learning abilities and methods to adopt while dealing with children. Welcoming note always help with 'Child Development Review.'

Here's my recent post on this on my Ed Blog note. Enjoy.

- ilaxi patel
Author of Guardian of Angels

Brat Kids!

Sometime ago, I came across a parent who wanted to enroll her kid to my Library and she labelled her child as 'Bratatouille' - She almost bitterly blurred out words of hidden anger and frustration as she even considered herself 'Unlucky' to have such a kid. She wanted me to counsel her child and help her out in teaching him right manners.

Copyright pic:Getty Images
Well, as the child takes the first steps, parents often are thrilled with the experience of the little gestures and smiles of the baby. They pamper around and call nick names. As he grows up to understanding age of 4-12 years, the child becomes a brat as like a monster, shouts and screams, giggles at guests or never leave you alone. So, what went wrong? Why do they act this way? Ever wonder about their attitudes and you come closer to the answer "Why my child acts the way I don't like'. Some reasons can be:

1. The child needs your attention. Maybe you are a working mom or too busy in your life with other things to do, the child is often neglected. Especially, when you don't have time to listen to his sweet, silly talks. Here's when he finds challenging to draw your attention.

2. Today's kids are savvy. They know the tricks of the trade to appear angelic and they tell all kinds of tales to make believe. Let them feel you are much clever and can see their tricks. Do not get into arguments but nevertheless allow them to over-rule you.

3. Jealousy is always have deep roots especially siblings which turn them nasty. A child feels that the other is the apple of the eye of the parent. So, treat both equal. Do not praise much or criticize in front of the other. Pay equal attention, give equal pocket money or favor them equally. Don't let them feel down or lower.

4. In social gatherings, don't just ignore the child or else, he is sure to create tension while he tries to draw your attention. When guests turn up, the child may bang on the music loud or play the games on their PS2 to irritate you. Hence, occupy them in their interest and teach the right manners.

5. Kids with no activities often get bored. Books, television, friends or games - all often get them distracted after some time. Keep them busy as bored equals naughty equals brats.

6. Do not React too far. Avoid their uncomfortable questions and keep your cool. Silence and tact brings in results of good behavior.

7. Don't complain - to your family members, teachers or their friends about their mis-behavior. Every child is different and needs love and understanding. Reacting adds to hurt self esteem and further disturbs his and your peace of mind.

8. Introvert kids are often the result of neglect. Reason out and convince that you have your own job and friends just as he has his friends and school.

We don't call children brats but it's good parenting without guilt. Render discipline without anger and reward for good behavior. Always do not overschedule yourself nor your child's work. Have play time and outings together. A friendly and loving attitude establish better relationships. Enjoy.

- ilaxi patel
Author of Guardian of Angels: A practical guide to Joyful Parenting



Editor for http://www.kidsfreesouls.com/
Newspaper for kids