Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Parents are the Best!

Once I found some children casually talking to each other when they suddenly got into a debate and each said, "My Parents are the Best and best-est!"

Every child is proud of his parents and their whole world revolves round their family - the love and caring, nurturing relationship. We have many books on Parenting including mine, but alas, like most things in life, parenthood too comes with No How to do Instructions and statutory warming but an experience to balance and facing challenges to offer the role of parenting. Successful parenting comes from within, with an insight and inner values. There are no clear cut methods on good parenting but habits you can develop to ensure that you prioritize your method of upbringing the child with greater responsibility.

As parents, we fondly hope that our Children want to say these lovely words, "My Mom is the Best of My Daddy is the Best-est!" And here are steps to follow as Guardian of Angels to be the 'BEST' and feel on top of the world:

1. Be firm
Build a easy frame of life. Children don't like chaos. Be firm in your decisions and reactions. Let there be consistency in your attitude for their behavioral development.

2. Teach, Do not Preach
Most often, Parents lead to Preach rathar than teach. Even if you are not a great teacher, every parent feels a sense of gratitude while the kids learn and follow them. Learning builds in confidence and can be made fun. Sharing experiences, playing together and teaching in a normal way is a way to go than to preach and tell (or rather Nag!) the child to 'Do This' or 'Do That.'

3. Get Involved
With the tech savvy kids growing up, help them grow gracefully. Involve yourself in their academic growth, Activities, social developments and more. Be together on their Life journey as a guiding light and provide your wisdom. Even you need to learn to help them learn newer things. Your Interest as Parents in every step helps the child get motivated and encouraged. They build their self confidence as you feel good factor of your involvement.

4. Rejuvenation
Rejuvenate yourself and make the child's week ends fun. Recreation is must as 'All work and No Play' is no good idea. Children have their own friends and love to spend time with them - Watch a movie, listen to ipod, dance around or go for explorations. However, quality time with parents is must as they learn to value family life as much as they love to be with friends.

5. Clear Stress signals
Let not your stress fall on children. Parental issues are worst as children are anxious to what goes around them as they are fond of both the parent. Your relationship issues cause worry for them. Even stress at your workplace, money crisis, family issues and so on have an impact on your stressful behavior. As a result, Parent stress is a Kid's Stress. Children need to be free of mind of any kind of tension.

6. Be Religious
One need not force Religion to kids. However, rituals are good for faith. A child who lives with faith learns to love the world. Celebrating festivals like Christmas, Diwali is togetherness. Let there be cozy dinners together and saying 'Grace' at mealtimes. Or, Watch television show or a sports game - It's a family time to bond and feel close.

Be the BEST - Be the successful Parent and it often comes with an Understanding and a lot deal of Sacrifice too!

- ilaxi patel
Author of Guardian of Angels

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Stage Fright?

Stage fright or performance anxiety is something that is very common among all of us and even children. Often, in school you may be asked to come up on stage and give a short speech or be a part in the debating team. But, if you find nervousness creeping in you, your hands would shake, voice falter and heart keeps pounding - chances are that you have a Stage Fright. Anyone who is participating in an activity that will bring them into close or direct contact with a small or large audience can experience stage fright. Often it happens, you are told to give a speech and words either roll out which goes out of topic sometimes or it's just you start fumbling for words. May be, you are not scared of the Stage but it's a speech faltering. Whatever, the stage performance weakens.

If you find yourself in such situation, never try and shun public performances altogether. This is a mistake. Stage fright is something that you need to overcome. But how? So, here we go:

1. Be positive : Meditate before you begin. Close your eyes and be positive. When you have a speech performance, begin with a quote. Or, when you have a stage performance, murmur to yourself a quote that builds your confidence or say to yourself, 'I can do it' and you will.

2. Don't be nervous : shrug off the blues and don't be nervous. Negative thoughts are not to pop up in your mind

3. Be prepared : Be well prepared before you go to stage. Memorize your words or focus on what you have to say.

4. Eye contact : Do not focus on a single eye contact. Let your vision be focused on the audience in whole without allowing your eyes to wander.

5. Focus on the character : When you are on stage performance, focus on the character you have to play and not yourself.

6. Concentrate : Do not allow your memory to lapse. Concentrate. If you let your mind wander, your dialogues will start fading.

7. Don't Listen to audience : While performance, don't listen to the comments of audience - bouquets or brickbats. If your performance is found good, audience is apt to be emotional and their emotions might distract you to make mistakes. So, stay focused.

8. Be your usual self : Don't do anything unusual when you have to go for stage performance. Do not break your routine schedule. Don't skip meals nor sleep less. This may only disturb your health.

Stage fear Anxiety need to be let off. I felt the Stage anxiety when I did have to stand up to an audience to give self introduction which is quite lengthy professional data and made me confused as to what to say. It made me real confused and falter. Hence, first priority should always be 'get well prepared.' and avoid spontaneous speech. Moreover, Be your best, dress your best, do your best and perform the best.

- ilaxi